Read on Twitter
I think this is actually very important for us to talk about. As long as you work within a certain reasonable guidelines, people will expect you to apologize for things. But after a certain point they just... stop. https://twitter.com/DiscordianKitty/status/1348216984895430656
Once it becomes too hard to get reasonable behavior from you, everyone stops expecting it and they just start working around it. But their expectations for the reasonable people remain the same, they have to now forgive and be cool with the unreasonable person.
I mean, I get it. Unreasonable people are hard. But a lot of what we've been reckoning with for the last few years is whether it is okay to cut off unreasonable people. And we still haven't really reached a consensus on it.
Politeness, as many of us were taught, is really a lot of talking around things that are uncomfortable or unreasonable. Treating something absurd as if it was just normal. That is why this impulse kicks in, because it is just what you do.
But I think it is absolutely fine to treat unreasonable people as if they are unreasonable. I do not have to accommodate them or tolerate them. I am not willing to deal with the consequences of their actions in my life if I can avoid that.
