Thread by @pjmcito_, is the tl dead? well here I goso... I like someone or [...]

is the tl dead?
well here I go

so... I like someone or something like that

and it has been giving me crisis for the past few weeks

is someone I barely know but we have _interacted_ multiple times

since the moment I met this person I felt like we would vibe and get along, and for the most part it has been that way

pero todo cambio cuando la nación del fuego atacó

sorry for that last but hehe I’m watching ATLA (in Spanish ofc)

so everything was cool and I really was thinking I just gained a new cool friendship ....

but it all changed when OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE I started to realise I wanted to get that persons attention more than usual and also got a little jealous when that person interacted with oth

and I was like WAIT A DAMN MOMENT because that’s something that normally happens when I’m starting to have a crush on someone
(I become a super attention whore for THEIR attention)

so I was like ok cool this person _for some reason_ is my crush now I guess

I really thought it was just one more crush mainly driven by the fact that I really wanted to become that persons (close?) friend

and it was like no big deal because I really get crushes on people I find cool really easily and they last a short while

I don’t know what was it that made my feelings grow stronger (?)

just like with everything about this topic, I don’t know why things happened

but something happened and I started to do or think things that I don’t usually do with my other crushes

so I was thinking to myself “mmm Okay these feelings might be stronger than I think mmm okay okay”

even tho that was happening I didn’t change the way I interacted with that person (or looked for an interaction) because I really thought everything would pass

and there were moments when I thought my feelings had ended

but everytime that happened my feelings manifested later stronger and stronger

Okay so I will continue writing
1) how my feelings kept developing
2) why this crush has represented an issue to me
3) what have I done about it

So just like I wrote before, my feelings kept growing stronger and stronger but like with barely any input (?) from this person

Basically the person was just existing and my brain would go like “oh yes yes yes I like this and I want more from this person”

Y YO DE ?!??!

AND THINGS STARTED GOING SOUTH FOR MY MENTAL STABILITY WHEN I STARTED PICTURING MYSELF IN A R O M A N T I C RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON

nada más me estoy acordando de todo lo que he pasado y

AND NOT ONLY A RELATIONSHIP BUT ALSO A FEW TIMES WHEN I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP I PICTURED US DOING ROMANTIC STUFF

and like to a certain extend that is what I normally when I have crushes

BUT THIS CASE IS DIFFERENT FROM ANY CRUSH BEFORE?

why?
Well that takes me to point 2

2) why has this crush been such a pain in the ass and represented nothing but an issue to my poor and confused mind

because this person is different from any other crush in a key aspect

i won’t write what aspect that is because that is what has triggered all my inner problems and confused me to the core

and basically why I refused to talk about this

and also why I haven’t been able to talk about this crush with any of my friends

this key aspect of that person is what has caused all the problems

because, as I wrote before, I’ve never ever liked someone like that
so it has made me discover a new part of myself and forced me to re-think who am I basically

and also this key aspect of the person is what has kept me from trying to establish a more personal and intimate relationship with the person

not even for the fact that I have an inner fight because of this crush and I don’t know tbh If I would feel comfortable making progress

but because since this is the first time I “like” someone like this I don’t know how to do things?

Like I’ve tried to flirt but Ii never know what to write to let the person know where I stand ? aaaaaa idk idk

and also (and this is really important)
because of this key aspect of the person I don’t know if the person would even be a little interested in me

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤡" title="Clownsgesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Clownsgesicht">

like one thing is liking someone knowing that maybe if you tried they could like you
but a different thing is liking someone when you’re not even sure if they are into people like you (?)

that sounded superficial, but I promise it’s more complex than that

and also not knowing if that person could even be attracted to be has made me super uncomfortable with my own crush because I don’t want to make that person feel uncomfortable in any way

having said that... I have moments when I feel the URGE to tell the person what I am feeling

like for what ???? idk but I get those moments when I’m like “what if I just tell the person hehehe wouldn’t that be funny” like what does my inner self expect out of that?

I know point 2. was super vague but it took me a lot just to admit I have feelings for a person like that and also I haven’t been able to say it out loud or let anyone know

Maybe a dumb example will help (this is me pretending some is actually reading this)

Let’s imagine that “key aspect” of the person is that they are left-handed hakshaja
I am right handed and I have always liked right handed people, but then I started catching feelings

For this left handed person and it took me a while to accept it because I never thought that would happen to me; and not only I have this inner fight because the fact that I like a left handed person changes who I thought I was, but also I don’t know what to do because

I don’t know if that person even likes right handed people

——————-
i know that

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">nobody cares

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken"> but I want to update this thread because it became the only thing that has record of everything that I felt or thought about this matter

so here we go

spoiler alert:

——————-i know that https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

nobody careshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken"> but I want to update this thread because it became the only thing that has record of everything that I felt or thought about this matter so here we gospoiler alert:" title="——————-i know that https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">nobody careshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken"> but I want to update this thread because it became the only thing that has record of everything that I felt or thought about this matter so here we gospoiler alert:" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Okay soooooo since the last time I uploaded this thread a lot of things have happened, but at the same time nothing has really happened

first of all, I went from “how is this happening to me?” to “okay, this happened to me, what am I gonna do about it?”

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